She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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