And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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