sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
