I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
