he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
