I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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