Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
