Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
