do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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