he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Randomize