Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
