Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
