I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
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