We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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