i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
