I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize