we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Randomize
