did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
