you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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