For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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