do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
