remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
