My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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