So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
