oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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