Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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