I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
