I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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