OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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