Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
