Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
