dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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