Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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