you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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