i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
