whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
