shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
