it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
