I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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