I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
