i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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