who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
