Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i think im in europe. pls send help
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
