What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
