You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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