I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We had to coat check the pizza.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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