google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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