I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I hate your face
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
