peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
