you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize
