youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
