just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize