She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Still dying that you shit outside
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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