I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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