i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
