O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
