I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
