Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
