We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
