I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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