My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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